


Replacement

by iamfitzwilliamdarcy



Series: Finding Fatherhood [3]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:27:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamfitzwilliamdarcy/pseuds/iamfitzwilliamdarcy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zuko never had to ask why his father hated him; he already knew. And he knew why Uncle Iroh stuck around with him too. What he couldn’t figure out was why the captain had taken such a liking to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Replacement

Zuko was 13 and disgraced, but he wasn’t completely stupid. He never had to ask why his dad hated him; he already knew. It didn’t make it any easier, that his father saw how useless and pathetic he was, but at least it made sense. And he knew why Uncle Iroh stuck around with him too, even though he tried to pretend it didn’t hurt that he was only a replacement for Lu Ten. He wasn’t even anything like Lu Ten (see the whole useless and pathetic thing), but if Uncle was willing to ignore that, Zuko would take it.

What he couldn’t figure out, though, was why Captain Kenji had taken such a liking to him. He was always giving Zuko small smiles or offering unsolicited advice. Uncle did that too, but Zuko had always assumed that’s just what uncles did. Zuko even caught the captain giving him worried looks when he thought Zuko couldn’t see.

Zuko could see; he just couldn’t understand. Surely, it must be galling to be commanded by a banished prince who was more than half your age, but the captain didn’t seem to think so. In fact, he didn’t seem at all bitter about this assignment. And surely, surely, a man of his years and military experience must be able to see what Zuko was. Father could see it, and so could Uncle, even if he was kind enough to pretend not to.

Maybe the captain was just kind like Uncle, but Zuko was suspicious. Nobody was like Uncle (Uncle was a little bit weird, if Zuko were honest). He was just missing something, something the captain wanted from him, but he just couldn’t figure out what.

After nearly a month at sea, with no sightings of the Avatar and barely any ventures onto land to land, Zuko was going a bit stir crazy. It didn’t help that it was almost winter and wherever they were on the water was freezing. Zuko missed home. He missed it so much he ached. It never got that cold there.

He wanted off the ship, he wanted to capture the Avatar, he wanted to not be Zuko anymore. Mostly, he wanted Captain Kenji to stop looking at him like he was some child to be pitied Uncle Iroh did that as well, and it drove Zuko crazy. He was a prince, andeven if he kind of sucked at it, he didn’t want them to know that too. 

Zuko was mostly angry these days anyway, and he started returning the captains’ looks with glares and snapping at Iroh. He wasn’t the least bit sorry either. They deserved it. Half the time, he couldn’t even stand being around the crew and would lock himself in his room where he didn’t have to deal with anyone, especially not Uncle or the captain.

It was during one of his training sessions that month, with fall giving way more and more to winter, that Zuko finally had had enough. Uncle was teaching him a new Firebending form, but Zuko kept messing up. It started with mixing up the steps—kicking when he should have punched, turning when he should have stepped forward. But even after he got that (mostly) down, he was having trouble with the end sequence of jump kicks. Balance had never particularly been his strong suit, and he couldn’t past the transition from the second kick into the third jump without falling. Uncle had suggested they take a break nearly an hour ago, but Zuko insisted on doing it until he got it right.

Except he couldn’t get it right. Even after an hour, he still came crashing to the ground. Hot tears of frustration prickled at his eyes as he scrambled back to his feet. “Why can’t I get it?”

“Prince Zuko.” He shook Uncle’s hand off his shoulder and turned to face him. He could feel his cheeks burn as he realized half the crew was on the deck pretending like they weren’t watching. Except Captain Kenji; he offered Zuko a small, encouraging smile. Zuko glared (though the effect was rather ruined by the fact that he was still blinking back tears) before averting his gaze.

“You must take a break,” Uncle said. “You are tired and frustrated. Come, I will make you tea, and we’ll try again tomorrow.” 

“I don’t want tea,” Zuko snapped. He took a step back from Iroh, who was trying to comfort him again. “Maybe if I had a decent teacher, I’d be able to get it!” Before Uncle could answer, he turned on his heel and stomped off.

He slammed the door to his rooms a little louder than necessary, but the violence of the force made him feel a bit better. With a groan, he flopped onto his bed and squeezed his eyes shut, swiping furiously at the tears that took that as their cue to start falling more. He was such a baby, and he couldn’t do anything right. Azula had learned that form almost a whole year ago.  
A knock on the door interrupted his wallowing before he could even really begin. “Go away, Uncle,” he called out. The old coot just didn’t know when to give up.

When he knocked again, Zuko groaned and forced himself to quit crying as he climbed out of bed. He stalked over to the door and flung it open.

“I said,” he started, but stopped when he saw it was Captain Kenji. He closed his mouth and stared, unsure what the captain was doing here and trying not to think about how it reminded him of his mother, that the captain had come after him (because thinking about her made him think about how she left him and how even though he was pretty sure something political had happened there, there was a constant, nagging thought that she left because she saw him, what he truly was, just like Ozai did and was ashamed).

“I’m sorry to disturb you, Prince Zuko,” Kenji said. “I just wanted to--,”

“Check up on me?” Zuko interrupted. “I’m not a child.” 

Kenji held up his hands, placating. “I never said you were.”

“Why do you care anyway?” Zuko said, trying to keep a sneer on his face, but he was genuinely curious. The captain had every reason to dislike him (well, most people did; the more Zuko thought about it, the more he was sure that there weren’t very many reasons to like him at all), but he didn’t seem to.

The captain paused, looking thoughtful, then shrugged and said, “I suppose you remind me of my son. My middle boy, Li.” His eyes took on a far off look, and his lips twisted into a fond smile. “He’s a bit older than you, and--,” 

“That’s stupid,” Zuko snapped. It was childish, of course, but Zuko couldn’t help it. The words just slipped out.

Kenji took it in stride. “Why do you say that?” 

“It just is!” Zuko clenched his fists. “It’s stupid, and I bet he’s stupid too. He’d have to be with you for a father. Now get out.”

“Prince--,”

“Leave!” 

Zuko slammed the door shut before the captain had a chance to say anything else. He flopped down on his bed and tried not to think about how all he was good for was (poorly) replacing people’s dead and distant sons.

It wasn’t fair.

**Author's Note:**

> i made up the captain with the idea that he eventually leaves the ship (i figured the crew must not be the same the whole 3 years); idk about the rest of it other than 13 is a super angsty age while still beeing somewhat childish i think???


End file.
